Pleasing vs Serving
The difference between serving and pleasing others may not seem apparent at first but it can make a world of difference to your life.
I was born in Japan and, although I only lived there for the first four years of my life, I seem to have adopted many Japanese characteristics and beliefs. One of the most ingrained is that to be a good Japanese woman, and in general, you serve. For years I assimilated serving others with pleasing them. It was not until many years later that I learned there is a world of difference between the two. This is a discovery I did not make overnight, in fact there are days I am still having to remind myself of this. It is easy to slip into the trap of wanting to make people happy, to "fix" things for them, if for no other reason than to feel appreciated and liked. But I've learned that this is not always doing them actual good.
Striving to do what is best for someone does not always mean that person will be happy. This is a lesson hard learned, especially if you have children. Contrary to what some people believe, as parents we are to serve our children. But this does not mean breakfast in bed. What it does mean is we are to serve (or fill the role) as teachers, guides, mentors, encouragers, motivators, coaches. It is up to us to act in a way that will serve to bring them to their full potential, to a life of good. This will probably not win you any popularity contests, but it will have it's ultimate reward of seeing another grow. This applies to your team members, your employees, your friends, your family.
I was born in Japan and, although I only lived there for the first four years of my life, I seem to have adopted many Japanese characteristics and beliefs. One of the most ingrained is that to be a good Japanese woman, and in general, you serve. For years I assimilated serving others with pleasing them. It was not until many years later that I learned there is a world of difference between the two. This is a discovery I did not make overnight, in fact there are days I am still having to remind myself of this. It is easy to slip into the trap of wanting to make people happy, to "fix" things for them, if for no other reason than to feel appreciated and liked. But I've learned that this is not always doing them actual good.
Striving to do what is best for someone does not always mean that person will be happy. This is a lesson hard learned, especially if you have children. Contrary to what some people believe, as parents we are to serve our children. But this does not mean breakfast in bed. What it does mean is we are to serve (or fill the role) as teachers, guides, mentors, encouragers, motivators, coaches. It is up to us to act in a way that will serve to bring them to their full potential, to a life of good. This will probably not win you any popularity contests, but it will have it's ultimate reward of seeing another grow. This applies to your team members, your employees, your friends, your family.
Striving to please others may equal short term satisfaction through thanks and admiration. However, more often than not, if we truly serve others, our full efforts do not result in equally exuberant accolades, leaving us in an anti-climactic state of uncertainty. But ultimately, if we embrace service, it is for the overall realization of potential, which can be so much more rewarding.
It's easy for us as humans to want to take the first, the easy way to thanks, but then who are we really serving?
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